According to the U.S. Census data, the rate of married U.S. adults ages 25-34 dropped by 10 percent in the last 10 years.
Population Reference Bureau, a non-profit organization, says that the trend to avoid marriage has also been long-term. For all U.S. adults, 57 percent were married in 2000, but that dropped to 52 percent in 2009, the lowest percentage recorded since information on marital status was first collected by the U.S. Census Bureau about 100 years ago. (Read the article here: http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2010/09/29/US-marriage-rate-continues-to-decline/UPI-77271285810979/.)
While some complain that this is bad news, claiming that marriage is necessary in our society, I disagree. Looking at the institution of traditional marriage and the problems associated with it more closely, here are 7 reasons why the declining marriage rate is good news:
1) Less pressure to get married. Women won’t need to rely on getting a man to “walk down the isle” in order to conform to society and join the herd. Men will no longer be brow beaten into submission in order to “commit” to a “forever” relationship when it doesn’t feel right to do so.
2) People will be less likely to become lazy in a relationship. Much time and effort is spent to look one’s best for the wedding. Unfortunately, the effort too often wanes after settling into a relationship. Not getting married will give people a better reason to remain looking and acting their best years after meeting, not just before getting married.
3) Couples will stay together or get married for the right reasons. Instead of rushing into a marriage at a young age because it’s what one is “supposed to do,” couples will be more likely to stay together if they’re compatible, and move on if they’re not.
4) Couples who don’t get married won’t be held hostage by the romantic illusions attached to marriage. “Till death do us part” is a nice notion, and it was more true 100 years ago when many men and women needed marriage to survive, but today it’s not always realistic. Some couples are meant to be together for a lifetime, but most aren’t.
5) Women will be seen as more equal. Not getting married (if they earn or are worth significantly less) or relying on alimony will encourage women to be more motivated to develop their talents, skills and careers, which will also help the world around them.
6) Men will receive more equal treatment and rights in a break-up. Let’s face it, men are more likely to get shafted in divorce court. Years ago, women usually lost more in a divorce, but things have swung too far in the opposite direction in recent years. This is one reason why the marriage rate is declining; there is a 50% or greater chance that the man (or woman if they earn or are worth significantly more) will loose 50% or more of his assets. The good news is that this realization will help women too (see #5).
7) Couples will feel less obligated to marry just to have a child. Instead of the spotlight being placed on their marriage and the great effort to maintain what a marriage “should” be, I recommend couples choose what I call a “child contract,” which places the focus on the best interests of the child and protects the main caretaker.
Copyright © 2011 Stephen Petullo
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