For centuries, society hasn’t allowed women to be as sexual as men. Women are supposed to want only monogamy and derive their sexual satisfaction only from emotional intimacy. What happens when a woman goes against this? She’s “slut-shamed” and branded a whore.
Oddly, many gay men also expect their paramours to be as pure as gold.
Fortunately, for both women and men, the tide is slowly turning.
Author Daniel Bergner told MailOnline: “I think that one of our conventional assumptions – that women are biologically programmed by evolution to be less promiscuous, less assertive, and less driven sexually – is a myth.”
Bergner wrote a book called What Do Women Want?: Adventures in the Science of Female Desire 
and examines many myths through his research, based on scientific studies, which include theories that women want less sex than men, watch less porn and that their desire is sparked by emotional intimacy.
Bergner cites a study that contradicts the notion that all women want to settle down with one man- and that they will have the best sex with that one man- because of the emotional intimacy their relationship brings. In fact, the study found the plethysmograph “flat-lined” when the women were shown images of their long-term lovers. Seeing someone they knew was a “lust-killer.” But images of a handsome stranger were a turn on.
Here’s a related extract from a review of Bergner’s book on Amazon.com:
“Bergner’s report of the current science reveals that monogamy might not be what we want; we have molded our behaviors to the story we have been told and now face the impossible task of maintaining desire in a system that is not set up correctly. Unfortunately, Bergner never quite gets there. He spends a great deal of time discussing the fascinating subject of desire-enhancing drugs without ever putting the finger right on it…as a society we have decided that marriage is the highest standard for women and yet pharmaceutical companies are working tirelessly and expensively on altercation of our own chemistry to make marriage keep working. Doesn’t anyone else think that’s crazy?”
Perhaps what many people really need is variety and excitement, not desire-enhancing drugs. Sure, methods to “keep your marriage hot” can be fun and effective, but not forever.
Feminine virtue is nothing but a convenient masculine invention. – Ninon de l’Enclos
Many other studies Bergner looked into found women lied about, or were too embarrassed to admit, what really turned them on. Often women would only give honest answers to questions, such as whether they watched porn and how many sexual partners they’ve had, if they were told their input would be completely anonymous.
Can you blame them? Bergner says that the repression of sexual desire has been drummed into women for eons.
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to stop the slut-shaming, accept that women are just as sexual as men, and there’s nothing wrong with honest, safe sex between consenting (even unmarried- gasp!) adults.
Copyright © 2014 Stephen Petullo
photo credit: quirkybird via photopin cc
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