Glenn T. Stanton, author of “Secure Daughters Confident Sons: How Parents Guide Their Children into Authentic Masculinity and Femininity,” (I’ve not read the book, but based only on that title, I can just imagine what he’d say about certain “lifestyle choices” :)) is certain that premarital sex leads to divorce.
Stanton says, “New data emerging consistently for decades show that premarital sexual activity seems to be associated with a significant elevated risk of divorce.”
He goes on to quote many (likely heavily influenced by religion and, or biased) studies, including the following:
— “Non-virgins still face a much higher risk of divorce than virgins.”
— “Those who are virgins at marriage have much lower rates of separation and divorce.”
— “Those who marry as non-virgins are also more likely — all other things being equal — to be unfaithful over the remainder of their life compared with those spouses who do marry as virgins.”
What Stanton doesn’t point out that most people who wait until they’re married to have sex are very religious. Those same religious beliefs are what prevent many of them from even considering divorce later, even if there are valid reasons to do so. Therefore, it could be debated that their strict religious beliefs about sex and marriage may eventually cause them quite a bit of anguish.
Stanton concludes by saying, “When we give ourselves away — and sex is a full giving of ourselves away physically, emotionally, spiritually — to someone outside the commitment and protection of marriage, it breaks down an important part of us, making our future relationships more unhealthy and difficult to sustain.”
Certainly, commitment can make one feel better about sharing themselves and their life with another person. However, sex, especially safe sex, by itself doesn’t “break down an important part of us,” unless you believe, as many religions teach, that sex outside of marriage is dirty, wrong, or shameful.
Sex existed long before marriage, and long before religion hijacked marriage and classified it as holy. Religion is largely responsible for promoting false beliefs which generate fear and guilt about sex, which, thankfully, has been fading over previous generations.
Premarital sex leads to divorce? I strongly disagree. In my years of matchmaking and love life intuitive readings, I’ve found that dishonesty (both with the self and others), not knowing yourself or your partner well enough, getting married too young or for the wrong reasons, and the reality that most relationships are not meant to be life-long are the main reasons for divorce.
Read the whole article here: http://www.sbcbaptistpress.org/BPFirstPerson.asp?ID=35210.
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Copyright © 2011 Stephen Petullo
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