“Don’t get married” Says expert, but misses hidden reasons for divorce
Neil Clark Warren, founder of the dating site E-Harmony, said recently, “If we could ever reduce the incidence of marital breakup from 40 to 50 percent of all marriages to single digits, I suspect it would be one of the greatest accomplishments of our time.”
He goes on to say that bad marriages happen to people who are not good for each other. “When two people have a relationship which is predicated upon broad-based compatibility,” He says, “there is every reason to be optimistic about their long term prospects. A marriage of this type has virtually no chance of becoming obsolete.”
Based on my many years of matchmaking and love life consulting experience, I believe he is partially correct. You can determine compatibility between two people from the beginning of a relationship.
Good compatibility won’t prevent divorce
What Mr. Warren misses is this: Even if two people are very compatible, this doesn’t prevent their relationship from becoming “obsolete” because, as we’ve found in our research, most relationships have destined beginning and ending times. Mant relationships are not meant to be life-long, even if you “lock it in” with a marriage certificate. Attempting to force something to last “forever” will only cause misery if it’s not meant to be.
“Find your soul mate” is a misleading approach and could be considered false advertising
Another mistake Mr. Warren makes is with the way his dating site is promoted. One of their advertising tag lines has been, “Find your soul mate” (with his site). That statement implies there’s one ideal person for you, you can find that person on their site, and if you find that person you’ll have that ideal relationship you’re looking for.
His claims sound fine on the surface, but our findings suggest he’s promoting a myth, thus it could be labeled false advertising. Other dating sites are guilty of the same thing.
Read Mr. Warren’s article here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-neil-clark-warren/on-second-thought-dont-ge_b_888874.html.
Copyright © 2011 Stephen Petullo
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