Author and sexual purity expert Dannah Gresh is claiming science, in the form of a walnut-sized mass in the brain called the deep limbic system, makes friends with benefits is impossible.
She says that you can easily become addicted to a friend with benefits, and you’ll experience withdrawal symptoms in the emotional center of the brain once the person is gone.
Does that mean you should never take a vacation, have a sumptuous 5 course meal, or read a really good book because you’ll go through withdrawal afterwards? What about friendships? Should you avoid people you won’t be able to know forever?
Ms. Gresh says, “Casual sex is happening. We shouldn’t ignore it. But when we talk about it, we should use science. There’s nothing biologically brief about a hookup. In the interest of full disclosure, my motivation here is my Christian faith. I believe sex to be an incredible gift from God, meant to transcend the physical to discover something emotional and spiritual with another person.”
Perhaps Ms. Gresh was deeply hurt as a young woman by some guy who slept with her and then dumped her, and now she’s trying to prevent this from happening to others. That’s noble of her, but I feel it’s quite a stretch to use a weak scientific excuse for why you should always abstain from sex unless you’re in a long-term relationship, or married.
There’s nothing wrong with sex between consenting adults, as long as they’re safe and honest.
Some people can handle friends with benefits, and some can’t. If you are unable to deal with such a situation, like refusing to accept the fact that he or she doesn’t want or can’t have a relationship with you, or if you’re the type that expects a lot from others in terms of dating and relationships, then don’t put yourself in such a position.
Not every person you meet is meant to be for a long-term, ideal relationship. If you expect this and aren’t open to other possibilities, you may miss out.
Read the article here: http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/05/31/my-take-there%E2%80%99s-nothing-brief-about-a-hookup/
Copyright © 2011 Stephen Petullo
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