Dear Stephen,
My name is “Kris,” female, and currently living in CO. I was born in CO on (birth data withheld for privacy). I’m 5’6″, 135 lbs, long brown hair, dark brown eyes, caucasian. My friend “Mike” is male, currently living in CO, born in CO on (birth data withheld for privacy). He’s about 6′, average build, very short blond hair, blue eyes. We have been friends since early childhood but never romantically involved. Until now, I never thought of him as more than a friend. He’s recently divorced, he asked me out, and we went on a date. My question is: Can we have a successful relationship or should we stay just friends? Thank you so much for your time.
Stephen’s Response:
Hi Kris,
An important component of a successful love relationship is a strong enough physical attraction, which is more about what you feel than see. In fact, for some couples it’s a major part of their bond. Otherwise you’re just companions and roommates and unless you have zero sex drive, you’ll turn to excessive food, drink, or something else for the stimulation you need.
If a mutual physical connection existed between you two, you’d feel it. If it doesn’t, you’re better off remaining friends. I’m sensing you aren’t attracted to him sexually, but that’s for you to determine.
If you pay attention to your heart and intuition, sometimes a potential romantic partner may feel more like a brother, sister, father, mother, boss, or even enemy than a compatible mate. It’s my belief, based on my past life regression research over many years, that this is in part due to how you knew them in past lives. Everyone you know now you’ve known before, which makes dating and relationships even more complicated.
Don’t make the mistake of dating someone with whom you don’t share a mutual physical attraction just because you don’t want to be alone. This will cause you and, or him to miss other, more compatible people.
Be honest with each other and talk about it. If the energy between you two is conducive to a love relationship that includes a great sex life, wonderful. If it’s not, it’s not anyone’s fault. It’s just what is. Everyone you meet is for a different reason, and not always for what you think or hope.
I asked Scott for his input about the connection between you two and here’s what he wrote:
In my work with comprehensive astrology and numerology (along with handwriting analysis–but handwriting samples weren’t supplied for this basic overview analysis), I determine what kind of bond exists between two people. It may be appropriate for business, friendship, a romantic relationship, a fling, paying back karma, karmic rewards, or none of the above.
Please see this article about compatibility and how it’s measurable: http://scottpetullo.com/blog/2011/06/compatibility-it%E2%80%99s-either-there-or-it%E2%80%99s-not-and-it%E2%80%99s-measurable/
Also, please see this article about seven requirements to determine true compatibility: http://scottpetullo.com/blog/2011/06/7-requirements-to-discover-true-compatibility/
Let’s assume that when you say “a successful relationship” you are speaking of the ideal most people desire–a long-term, even life-long, mutually satisfying romantic relationship, including strong physical attraction.
Based on the birth data you offered, there exist three key problems between you and this man in regards to a romantic relationship:
1. His relationship ideals are beyond unreasonable, into the neurotic zone. He’ll never understand that there is no perfection and his expectations make things impossible. He lives to be in love and probably feels his life is meaningless if he’s not continually living the best parts of his favorite romantic comedy. You would, in time, feel as if you are in some sort of “you can’t win” game.
2. The collective long-term timing–for both of you–only supports a short-term relationship, not a long-term (as in several years of bliss) and certainly not a life-long relationship.
3. On a scale of 1-100, if I were to rate this romantic/love life connection between you two (100 being the most rewarding, and 1 being horrible), I’d give it a 20. There are too many differences that would drive a spike between your intimacy, the physical attraction is dosed with cold water, and the level of strife is very high–when push comes to shove and the pleasant happy face persona melts away as it always does when two people really get to know each other, the animosity would be palpable.
You would come to realize that this connection is much better for a friendship (and not the closest of friendships by any means) than a love life relationship.
Copyright © 2012 Stephen Petullo
