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“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”—Oscar Wilde
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I used to be quite idealistic about love and relationships. It’s not surprising when you consider how we’re influenced by the romances in fairytales, movies, and elsewhere.
But my perception changed over the years after being a matchmaker in the 1990s and a spiritual seeker since my teens.
I now realize there’s a whole other dimension to your love life, the spiritual side, and you can use it to improve it.
Below is what I’ve found over the last thirty years about the spiritual side of love and relationships. Some of the ideas may seem pessimistic, but it’s my hope that you try to see them as helpful, and use the information to your advantage.
1) We all have many soulmates. Some are compatible enough for long-term relationships, most aren’t. Some are for relationships, others are primarily for friendship, business, or parenting.
“A soulmate is an ongoing connection with another individual that the soul picks up again in various times and places over lifetimes. We are attracted to another person at a soul level not because that person is our unique complement, but because by being with that individual, we are somehow provided with an impetus to become whole ourselves.”―Edgar Cayce
2) Most significant relationships seem to have destined beginnings and endings (even if the couple remains together).
3) Many factors determine whether you and a partner will have a rewarding relationship, including fate, “positive” and “negative” karma, free will, and personality characteristics.
4) Fate can sometimes overrule what you want; lots of good people aren’t experiencing a compatible relationship. Thankfully, you have free will, within the framework of your fate, to react positively to fate and make the most of your love life and all relationships. Your perception of your love life and relationships, and your happiness, is up to you.
5) Relationship endings aren’t always because of karma. Sometimes people are just meant to experience other destined relationships or focus on other parts of life.
6) Some people are more destined to meet a compatible partner early in life, some later in life. Sometimes you might be in a love life season or timing of abundance, and other times it may be as dry as the desert. Comprehensive astrology and numerology can predict this.
7) Soul mate connections can include plenty of strife and heavy lessons, sometimes without the presumed romantic bliss. Sometimes people are drawn together like magnets, yet the compatibility is questionable. Might the intense draw be fate? Yes.
8) Varying, unique degrees of intellectual, emotional, spiritual, physical and sexual compatibility exist between every couple, and they may not be obvious until much later. You can’t “make it work” by cultivating what’s not naturally there to begin with. Don’t torture yourselves if the bond doesn’t seem like it could ever be harmonious enough to remain together.
9) The degree of compatibility between two people is evident in their comprehensive astrology and numerology charts, as is how harmonious or rocky it will be (which indicates predestination). Compatibility can be measured, for example, on a scale of 1 to 100, 100 being best, but there is no perfect connection. Whether a relationship is ideal for strict, long-term monogamy (some aren’t) is also evident in the charts.
10) People are very, somewhat, or not at all monogamous by nature. Unfortunately, most aren’t always consciously aware of this (someone may say they want monogamy, for example, then their actions betray it).
11) I haven’t seen solid evidence of “twin flames” or “twin souls” or “souls splitting off from each other.” One problem with the twin soul concept is that it may cause couples to have incredibly high expectations of each other and their relationship. Could these concepts come from not accepting that every soul has male and female traits, thus incorrectly assuming one male and one female soul forms a whole? Each soul is already both. The concept may also be a way to ease the fear of being all alone in this dimension, which is understandable.
A different definition of a twin soul could be a soul mate with which you’ve shared many lifetimes of working on the relationship. This soul is one of the more ideal soul mates for you and could result in a wonderful relationship—if you both don’t allow your personality flaws and subconscious fears to interfere.
In his book Edgar Cayce on Soul Mates, Kevin J. Todeschi suggests yet another definition: “The primary distinction between soul mates and twin souls is that soul mates are brought together as a means of assisting both people in soul growth and twin souls often come together in an effort to achieve a joint task or a united work.”
12) Relationships don’t really “fail.” The length of a relationship isn’t important from a spiritual perspective; what you learn and how you react is.
13) Our souls might be in relationships elsewhere, beyond the physical plane, while our bodies sleep at night. You might be in an other-dimensional relationship and not consciously realize it. Therefore, it may be more accurate for singles to say they are single in this dimension. Or for couples to say they are monogamous in this dimension (if both of them truly are monogamous).
14) There’s nothing wrong with being single. You shouldn’t feel bad if you aren’t involved in a happy relationship because, as mentioned, fate has a lot to do with how our lives unfold. Embrace and enjoy it! As a matchmaker, I found those who did were easier to match.
15) Spiritual debris can wreck a relationship. If you clear your energy regularly, you know how good it makes you feel. You might also understand how a harmonious relationship can be impossible when both people are full of spiritual clutter.
16) The more you get in touch with your soul and the spiritual side of life (through meditation or other ways), the easier it is to be single or in a relationship, perceive others as they are, and intuitively know how to improve your love life and other relationships.
This blog post is based on content from Chapter 16 of Your Soul Knows. Download the free beta version https://dl.bookfunnel.com/sy4znbr1pc and get in touch with the wisdom of your soul.
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Copyright © 2023 Stephen Petullo
Image by Bingo Naranjo from Pixabay
