You are beautiful, even if you don’t realize it.
When I was younger I didn’t think I was attractive. When people complimented me on my appearance or personality I didn’t believe them because I had low self-esteem and confidence.
In high school and college I used alcohol and drugs to boost my confidence. It worked sometimes, but after the buzz wore off I felt even worse about myself, in addition to looking like hell.
I quit partying before graduating college. I got more serious about exercise. I looked and felt better, but I still didn’t value myself.
I would see attractive, outgoing, witty, or intelligent people and think that they were way above me. I allowed a lot of toxic people into my life. I usually managed to sabotage friendships or relationships with good people.
I began to have major digestive problems in my mid 20s. I had to eat like a bird or I’d have no energy, feel depressed, and experience insomnia. This was in the mid-90s, and some people assumed I had AIDS since I was so thin, even though I was and am HIV negative.
I learned what it felt like to be completely ignored, even shunned, due to your appearance, and how important it is in our society. My experience as a matchmaker during this time corroborated this. Initially appearance can be everything, yet it’s very little from a spiritual perspective.
During this period I went further inward with my interests in meditation, tarot, hypnosis, past life regression, spiritual detox, yoga and I was attuned to Reiki. These spiritual disciplines helped me shed the negative image I had of myself, let go of the past, forgive, be excited about life and the future, and get a glimpse of who I am beyond my physical body.
In my 30s I was feeling and looking better, but it wasn’t until after age 40 that I finally felt attractive inside and out. Even though my face is looking older, I feel more attractive and confident due to learning to understand, forgive, accept, and appreciate myself.
As you’ve probably heard many times, loving yourself will make you feel and look more beautiful. Related to that truth, I firmly believe accepting yourself as a sexual being, with no apologies, can also help you tap into and express your inner beauty.
You are beautiful. If you don’t feel it, that just means you haven’t cultivated and, or learned to appreciate your inner beauty. Once you do, it will help you feel more confident and inspire you to make the effort to match how you feel with your outer beauty through diet, exercise, and, or whatever other empowering method you choose.
One of the reasons you incarnated is to realize your inner beauty and inherent talents, and share them with others. You are beautiful. Always remember that.
Copyright © 2014 Stephen Petullo
