Does “true love” really take time?
University of Iowa sociologist Anthony Paik found that average relationship quality was higher for individuals who waited until things were serious to have sex compared to those who became sexually involved in “hookups,” “friends with benefits,” or casual dating relationships.
But having sex early on wasn’t to blame for the difference. When Paik factored out people who weren’t interested in getting serious, he found no difference in relationship quality. That is, couples who became sexually involved as friends or acquaintances and were open to a serious relationship ended up just as happy as those who dated and waited.
“We didn’t see much evidence that relationships were lower quality because they started off as hookups,” said Paik, “The study suggests that rewarding relationships are possible for those who delay sex. But it’s also possible for true love to emerge if things start off with a more ‘Sex and the City’ approach, when people spot each other across the room, become sexually involved and then build a relationship.”
Therefore, based on those findings, waiting to have sex doesn’t make a relationship better or last longer. Who and where you are as a person does. Sexual shame likely plays a role too.
Also consider this when looking at such studies: Those who are more likely to wait longer to have sex tend to be more religious. They also are more likely to stay together rather than breaking up, even when it’s over, due to their faith.
Based on my matchmaking experience, years of intuitive readings, and the compatibility and prediction work of my brother Scott, I’m convinced that a “true love” connection doesn’t take time; it’s either there between two people, or it isn’t.
If you know yourself well, are centered, and refrain from getting carried away with romantic agendas and fairy-tales, you’ll be able to sense if the person is a good match for you or not. As far as the sexual connection, waiting a long time before having sex and making sure the compatibility is strong enough for a lifetime isn’t advisable.
Gain more insight with an intuitive reading with Stephen: http://www.holisticmakeover.com/Readings.htm.
Get a general compatibility reading with Scott: http://scottpetullo.com/services.shtml.
Copyright (c) 2011 Stephen Petullo
Read the entire article about the study here: http://news-releases.uiowa.edu/2010/august/081910paik_relationships.html.
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