According to researchers from the University of Texas at Austin and Northwestern University, being friends with someone first will improve your chances. They studied 167 couples, 67 of them dating and 100 married. Each answered questions about how long they knew each other, how long they had been couple, and whether they were friends first.
41% of couples said they had not been friends before dating, 40% said they had, and 19% disagreed about whether they’d been friends first.
The researchers also rated the looks of each partner and found the obvious: beautiful people tend to date beautiful people.
But they also found if there was a big difference between their looks, they often had been friends before they were a couple.
Aside from being friends first, here are some other ways you can date out of your league:
1) Don’t have an agenda to date only out of your league and befriend super hot people for only that reason. They’re probably used to this happening and will question your motives. Things are much more likely to work in your favor if a friendship or acquaintance happens naturally. Then you can determine if there is enough compatibility and chemistry to pursue it further.
2) Don’t pursue people who have turned you down more than twice and, or aren’t at all interested in you. Even if you finally persuade that person to give you a chance, in the majority of cases she’ll eventually come to her senses and realize her initial impression was correct: She’s just not that into you. Chase if you must, but remember if there isn’t enough mutual attraction or compatibility, it won’t last.
3) Work on your charisma, confidence, and sense of humor. These three traits alone can elevate you to a higher league. Subliminal audio MP3s can help improve confidence, sense of humor and much more.
4) Make the most of your appearance through a healthy diet and exercise. Not just “moderate,” you must ramp it up to be the best you can be. Diet is key; you can’t exercise your way out of eating too much junk.
5) Be rich. Easier said than done and like it or not, wealth is attractive to most people, especially when associated with a successful career and status. But without confidence and self-esteem, it can mean little and you’ll have a higher likelihood of attracting people who are only interested in your money. Also, wealth can make dating more challenging because people who wouldn’t normally consider dating you will do so because of your money, then dump you when they realize there’s not enough compatibility and, or chemistry.
From a spiritual perspective, based on my empirical research, I believe appearance, wealth, health, and personality traits can have karmic ties (“good” and “bad”). Thus, the league you are in might also be karmic. This may not be an easy notion to entertain, and a blow to your self-confidence if you were part of an above average league in a past life but aren’t now; subconsciously you recall what it’s like to be more attractive, charismatic or rich than you are now. This may be one reason some people resort to excessive cosmetic surgery; what they see in the mirror doesn’t match with what they subconsciously remember. It’s similar to why so many people turn to cosmetic enhancements as they age. Can you blame them? In a society where appearance is so important, it can be depressing to go from being noticed or appreciated to invisible or even disrespected.
Copyright © 2015 Stephen Petullo