I recently heard about a man who received after-life communication from his ex who had died a few years before. He recorded the experience in his journal and a week later his current wife destroyed it when she found out about it.
His wife is so jealous of anyone else taking the attention of “her” man that she won’t even allow this? I don’t know about you, but I would think a lot less of a partner if that happened to me.
Dictionary.com defines jealousy as the “…mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims or vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.”
The experience of jealousy involves fear of losing someone to someone else, suspicion or anger about betrayal, distrust, uncertainty, loneliness, sadness, and often low self-esteem.
The man likely cared deeply for his ex who died. Instead of reacting out of fear, the wife could have been more understanding, which would have encouraged a stronger bond and more love in their marriage. Even if his ex was still alive, his wife wouldn’t need to feel jealous if her marriage was solid.
But since jealousy is natural and part of the human experience, how do you rise above it? Such fears can be lessened and even avoided, but you must change your perspective about love and relationships.
First, it’s important to realize that we all have many soul mates and each bond is unique. There is no one, perfect person for you, and none of us are guaranteed to have a compatible companion at any times or for the rest of our lives. Expecting this, as we are programmed to do, will just bring misery.
Second, try as you may, it’s not your right to own your partner. That’s fear, not love. If you feel the need to control your partner or relationship, the bond probably isn’t as compatible or strong as you’d like. It may be time to consider why and take positive action to improve it.
Third, based on our years of research, we have found that relationships begin and last for as long as they are meant to. Once you accept this it becomes easier to enjoy and cherish each other in the moment and allow your relationship to be what it’s meant to be. You two may have made a commitment and, or taken your “vows,” but unfortunately that won’t stop fate and karma. Does this mean you shouldn’t work on your relationship or that you have the right to cheat? Of course not. Always do the “right thing” or you will pay the karmic price.
Finally, never think of a partner as your “everything.” If you think you can only be happy with someone, which places happiness outside yourself, you’ll just end up being lonely, even while involved in a relationship. You don’t need someone else to be happy. Instead, make each other a priority, but think of the relationship as a desert to life, not the main course.
Copyright (c) 2010 Stephen Petullo
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