Stephen,
I read in one of your articles that it’s important to learn to like being single. Can you tell me why and how to do this?
Angela
Hi Angela,
Tell someone you’re single and what kind of response do you usually get? “That’s too bad.” “Why are you single?” “Don’t you want to find someone so you don’t end up alone?”
It’s unfortunate that we’ve all been conditioned to think you need to be in a relationship to be happy because it’s simply not true. I believe being single is underrated and that occasional solitude is vital for emotional and spiritual well-being.
Relationships can be wonderful, of course, but there are times when being single just happens, and no matter what you try, you remain single.
Sometimes flying solo is necessary for your spiritual evolution, and resisting it only causes stress. It’s also important to learn to accept and even like being single because if you don’t, you’ll make bad love life choices just so you don’t have to be alone.
How do you learn to like, or even love, being single?
First, live your life the way you want to live it and appreciate that you don’t need to compromise to make someone else happy. Do what you want, when you want to do it, like hobbies you love and spending more time with family and friends. You could also enjoy meeting and dating new people, but you must detach from any love life agenda so the experiences are more fun.
Finding the root cause of a fear of being alone and not comparing your love life to that of others (appearances are often deceiving) will also help.
These suggestions can make a difference, but the one thing that will completely change how you perceive being single is your awareness and connection to what some call “the source,” your “Higher Self,” “God,” or whatever else you want to call it.
How do you become aware of this and strengthen the connection? One of the easiest ways is through regular meditation. Eating a relatively clean diet (healthy foods that work for your unique body type and skipping those that don’t, like sugars), avoiding drugs and excess alcohol will definitely help too.
Follow the advice above and you’ll feel more or even completely fulfilled on your own. You won’t feel lonely when you’re alone. You won’t need someone else to “complete” you. Since you won’t be wasting time with people who aren’t compatible, you might even have room in your life for someone who is.
Copyright © 2013 Stephen Petullo
photo credit: Light Knight via photopin cc
