Hi Stephen, I was friends with Robert for over a year. Even though he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship and couldn’t give me what I wanted from him, I fell in love with him. He wanted to remain friends but I just couldn’t do it and needed more. A friendship wouldn’t be enough for me. I told him that if he could ever be ready for more, and show me something different, I would be ready. If not, do not contact me. That was 6 months ago. I have not heard from him since. At the time it seemed like the right decision, but I miss him. Will he come back into my life as a friend, or more than a friend and give me what I need from him? Thank you, Elisa
Elisa,
This is a very common situation and you made the same mistake that most people make. It’s not really your fault however, since most people aren’t exposed to better ways of handling such circumstances.
You wanted more than friendship, or nothing. He wasn’t interested in more (and probably won’t ever be), so you told him to get lost. Now you want friendship or anything. But if he came back, he’d probably feel tortured by your demands.
Unfortunately, no man will ever make you happy because you’re searching for happiness outside of yourself instead of within.
He said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, but it’s also possible that he doesn’t find you, and your needs, as compatible as you find him.
Unfortunately, making relationship demands can make you appear needy.
This is common because most people are taught to fulfill themselves with things or people from a young age instead of looking inward.
How to deal with neediness– be more love self-sufficient and thus, more appealing:
— Acknowledge the problem. Accept it and forgive yourself and anyone involved.
— Acknowledge that the highest form of love is unconditional, without demands.
— Meditate on the problem and ask for spiritual help and insight from whomever you pray to.
— Consider using past life regression to uncover and release the root cause of feeling emotionally needy.
— Acknowledge the unlimited love available to you from your Higher-Self, God, or whomever you pray to. When you meditate daily, you begin to realize your inner world and the freedom and joy that comes with it.
The more you meditate, the more you become in touch with this spiritual connection, the more love you’ll feel and have to give, and the less you’ll feel the need to resort to conditional love in relationships.
“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up, because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.” OSHO
Copyright © 2015 Stephen Petullo
