UPDATE FROM STEPHEN:
Thank you all for helping to make my book launch a success and those who bought a copy of Half on the Other Side! Reviews help a book’s rank, and I need more before I start some of the bigger promos, so I’d be eternally grateful if you could leave a short review on Amazon.
A solar eclipse happens on April 30th, 2022. Your perception might be off during this time, so be careful with important decisions, impulsive spending, and excessive risk. The symbolic influence is three to four weeks before an eclipse (now) and a few days afterwards. See this blog post for more information about limiting your overall risk during an eclipse.
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A certain actor’s reaction to a joke at the Oscars was a reminder to me of the importance of trying to react positively to negativity.
I didn’t react positively when offended in the distant past, and I sometimes still take things too personally.
But as I look back over my life, I realize I have made progress. I finally learned that what matters most is how I react to life and people—even challenging people. I cannot control other people or what happens, but I do have a choice about how I react: with fear or as a victim; or with love as someone who is learning to be mature, wise, and empowered.
I’ve learned so much about the power of acceptance, forgiveness, and gratitude since my twenties, and how they relate to all I’ve experienced.
Some examples include the “friend” who slipped a date rape drug into my drink because I wouldn’t sleep with him, the author who perceived me and others as adversaries and covertly tried to put us out of business, the person who put remote keystroke tracking software on my computer, or the narcissists with sociopathic tendencies who hurt me.
Part of the power of forgiveness, for me, finally, is not about dwelling on those past situations, but holding love rather than resentment in my heart for those people. That didn’t come easily to me, though!
I’m not one to avoid conflict. The idea of not fighting back and defending myself was always scary to me. It made me feel vulnerable and weak and therefore I instead chose to speak up.
Unfortunately, my approach was sometimes too aggressive (verbally, not physically) and confrontational when I was younger. Thirty years ago, I was so blinded by injustice or rudeness that I rarely paused long enough to perceive the reasons behind it all before getting angry and lashing out. Or if I wasn’t in a position to react, I let the resentment boil within me, which only hurt me.
I wish I had known then the power of reacting to people with love, acceptance, and forgiveness, as it would have made my life so much easier. By resisting, I realized, I was giving the perpetrators energy and feeding their negative (and possibly dark) energy, which escalated the situations. Further, I found that reacting, even directing anger at someone from afar, seems to create a negative energy game of ping pong, leading to negative karma for me, and giving away my power unnecessarily.
As Edgar Cayce wrote in The Power of Your Mind: “For, thoughts are things! And they have their effect upon individuals, especially those that become supersensitive to outside influences! These are just as physical as sticking a pin in the hand!”
Once I accepted and forgave (which seemed to be a key lesson) instead of resisting, and felt the joy and peace in doing so, negative people were easier to tolerate.
Calling out for spiritual help to create an energetic protection system around myself and my home to block negative energy exchanges was life changing for me. The person senses, subconsciously, that I’m no longer feeding the negativity. It’s helpful for conflict with anyone; family, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, coworkers, and others.
Sometimes I take it a step further and send the aggressor white light, love, and forgiveness, which helps to disarm them and calm the situation. But that’s difficult to do when you’re in the middle of a stressful situation with a jerk!
Occasionally I need to protect myself further by spiritually releasing or blocking someone.
It’s hard to move on after being badly hurt. I used to think the only way was to get the person to admit they were wrong and apologize.
But I can’t control other people, it’s not my right to do so, and expecting to will just prolong the suffering. Besides, some people who mistreat others are good at excuses and dodging responsibility.
I found giving myself “closure” instead of waiting for permission is more effective: I accept the way they were, what happened, and responsibility for my part. I consider the spiritual side, let go, and forgive (but I don’t forget so I can avoid similar problems in the future when possible). Being grateful for what I learned helps too.
I don’t need permission or to even talk with the perpetrator to accept and forgive.
Forgiveness is for me, not the perpetrator. If I really want to improve the situation and create a better solution to the problem, I need to accept and forgive.
Sometimes forgiveness is an ongoing process that can take a while, but practicing it sets me free.
Acceptance and forgiveness can be hard, but once I understood the long history of the reasons behind their behavior, including the spiritual reasons, it was easier to feel forgiveness and compassion for them. They are handicapped and unable to do better; I wouldn’t get angry at someone who is physically handicapped for not being able to do certain things. No one is perfect, and we all have challenges.
Past-life regression helped; forgiving myself and others came naturally when going back to the root cause and understanding the hidden backstory (including my past-life actions).
Part of my process of accepting and forgiving is understanding why people can be so evil. We all have or had people in our lives who hurt us deeply. Some of those people could be classified as narcissists or sociopaths (who are attracted to empaths and spiritually sensitive people). A psychologist might identify environmental causes, like a tough childhood. A neurobiologist might identify problems with the brain that make them unable to feel empathy. Spiritually, now that I have a better understanding of the unseen, potential spiritual causes, I believe lost souls and negative energy, even demons, can be a huge, hidden part of bad behavior.
Some people seem born like that. Perhaps they are victims of negative energy, transferred to them in the womb or early childhood. Some might have accidentally or purposely made a pact with negative entities in past lives, and it’s still influencing them (and others, like me, who may have been part of that pact in past lives).
Others seem to have unknowingly welcomed demons into their energy, sometimes due to substance use and abuse, which led to dramatic behavioral changes for the worse.
The personality of a friend in college would drastically change when he was under the influence of alcohol or drugs. When sober, he was calm and friendly. When drunk, high, or exhausted, he transformed into a nasty, critical bully, and often didn’t remember it. Looking back, I can’t help but think, besides psychological problems, dark energy seemed to take over when he lost control of himself.
Another way I deal with bad behavior from others is by reminding myself it’s for learning; souls incarnate together, over and over, and sometimes work on similar issues and switch roles. Eventually they all learn the lessons and can move on to other lessons.
Maybe my soul wanted to work on certain issues and the souls of the people who hurt me in this life volunteered to be the offender to help me learn. Or, I was the offender in other lives and my soul chose to experience the other side of it in this one.
At first it was difficult for me to accept that my soul would choose such difficult situations. Why would I choose to go through all that crap?! My personality certainly wouldn’t. But the more I learned about the Other Side and why souls incarnate, the easier it was to forgive, accept, and be grateful. Also, most souls don’t come here just to have fun. They don’t call it schoolhouse Earth for nothing.
We’re all born with challenges. The goal is to overcome them by doing the right thing, taking the higher path, instead of giving in to the dark side. Some of us (raising my hand high) have blown it many times and are determined to finally overcome, in this life, as many past-life mistakes as possible.
I learned that judgment and anger blocks me with negative energy and draws more of the same. Letting go and forgiving unblocks me and allows understanding and love to flow through me.
Once I learned to get beyond my emotions and accept and forgive, I gradually realized some of my main lessons are tolerance, acceptance, understanding, and compassion for, and even loving unconditionally, someone who hurt me.
When I look back over my life at the people who hurt me, I now feel sorry for sometimes taking their words and actions so personally, and reacting with anger instead of accepting that it was just the way they were. When I truly understood, compassion replaced the anger.
Being grateful also helps me forgive. I’m grateful for the challenging people because they taught me the most. I’m grateful for what I learned, I’m grateful for the good that came of it, and I’m grateful I can finally move on.
Forgiveness and acceptance are also easier for me when I imagine we are playing out our roles on the Earth stage in our costumes. When the play is over (death) and we go backstage (to the Other Side, where a soul can be at the same time as incarnated in one or more bodies), we see each other (souls) as we really are (and the spiritual reasons for all the conflicts).
I look forward to seeing everyone on the Other Side, without our masks and baggage. They will realize that I’m sorry or happy for my part, and that I forgive and even thank them for their part. Taking responsibility for my part of the situation empowers me. I know we are all sinners and saints as humans, and they are good souls beneath their earthly costumes. I have sensed and seen it.
It doesn’t matter what happened. What matters most is what I learned, what their souls and my soul contracted together to help all of us learn.
The challenge for me, with the difficult people in my life, was and is for me to react with love and compassion, no matter their flaws, no matter what they said or did, and not allow my pride to get in the way. I now get it; it doesn’t matter how they act. How I respond does. Respond with love and compassion and everyone wins.
This blog post was adapted from Chapter 15 of Half on the Other Side.
Copyright © 2022 Stephen Petullo
Discover the Genius of Your Soul and the Power of Your Hidden Spirituality: The Genius of Your Soul Spiritual Tool Kit has many of Stephen’s favorite spiritual tools, plus helpful steps and tips.
